"Love is when you beg the Universe not to be eternally separated from someone"
Casey and Adam live in Pasadena, California with their two sons. They have been together for twenty-one years and married for sixteen. Casey grew up in Wilmington, Delaware and Adam grew up in New England, just outside of Boston. In 1998, they were both living in New York City and found themselves invited to a party at Columbia University by mutual friends. It was a Valentine’s Day party and things were a little raunchy and outlandish. Adam recalls, “there were blow up toys and lots of different shenanigans”. There amidst it all was a girl with “the most beautiful eyes, eyes to rival Elizabeth Taylor,” there was Casey. They sat and talked for hours, somewhat of an oxymoron, a good connected conversation amid College Chaos.
They swapped numbers and a few days later Adam called Casey.”It wasn’t my best move” he admits, “I probably should have called sooner.” They started dating and for eighteen months they spent their time in and around the restaurants, bars, parks and their apartments of the Upper West Side.
I couldn’t wait to speak to Casey and Adam about what makes a successful relationship and see what love means to them.
In 1999 they took a cross-country trip together. They visited twenty states in thirty days. Adam recalls, “Gas was cheap and we were young and carefree, times were easy. We travelled all around the country staying with friends and family, we had such a good time. We often still flip through the photo album from that trip.” Not long after they returned home, Adam had the opportunity to move across the country to Los Angeles and asked Casey to go and live with him, she agreed and together they made the move.
After living in Los Angeles for eighteen months they became engaged. Casey and Adam had
spoken about the engagement ring that Casey would like and after receiving some inheritance from his grandfather, Adam had the ring made. He proposed one night on Mulholland Drive after calling her parents beforehand to ask permission. Adam said, “I wanted to call them to tell them how much she meant to me, but also I thought it was important to ask them.”
When reminiscing the reasons for getting engaged, Casey said, “Adam has always been low maintenance and I LOVE that about him. He's so easy and enjoyable to be around, and that was pure comfort from the beginning. Who wouldn't want to feel that every day of their life? Also, when things got serious, we talked about the big stuff in life and thankfully we had the shared the same thoughts. These are the things cemented the deal for me”
Adam knew that Casey was the one for him when they were living together, he said “Coming home every night I wanted to share everything about my day/life with her; I never got tired of sharing with her. If a man doesn’t share with you anymore then that’s when it’s over. Also, Casey always treated me so well and was so centred.”
Emmaleen: Can you share a loving story from your relationship?
Adam: “A long time ago, I had a falling out with my family; Casey was really instrumental in piecing us back together. She really stepped up and balanced us; she was beyond helpful. I don’t know how I would have handled it without her.”
What is the key to a happy relationship?
Adam: “Patience, when your loved one needs you and when you need them. Take turns to be there for one another and make sure that the other knows that you care. Be sensitive if your partner is having a tough day. Also everybody fights, but if you can forgive and move forwards you can break through the small tough times to get to the bigger really good times.”
Casey: “Treat your partner with the same kindness you would treat a best friend. Always keep your eye on the prize; sitting next to your partner in the golden years, holding hands and looking back on your life together.”
What is Love?
Casey: “"Love is when you beg the Universe not to be eternally separated from someone." Love is waking up in the middle of the night, and making sure everyone has covers on them before going back to sleep”
Adam: “The true meaning is something I will chase for the rest of my life, but for me it is patience and respect. A measure can be the children in a relationship, kids are a general indication of the family’s happiness, they are the canaries in the coal mine, if they are happy and well adjusted, you’re doing okay.”
So what is their advice to anyone looking for love?
Casey: “Use the ‘KISS’ principle. Keep It Simple Stupid. Find someone easy and enjoyable to be around, done deal!”
Adam: “Take your time; don’t get carried away with the first person you see. A lot of growing up takes place in your twenties. You want to find a balance, feel comfortable with that person and look it to be reciprocated. Every day is not champagne and rainbows, but it is little things that happen every day that it important.
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