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  • Writer's pictureEmmaleen Muldoon

What is love? Louisa and Eliot

Updated: Jun 13, 2019

“When together as couple we strengthen each other.”

Louisa and Eliot

Louisa and Eliot are happily married with two beautiful children and live together on the south island of New Zealand. Louisa grew up in England and Eliot was raised in New Zealand. Eliot spent many years travelling the U.K. and eventually came back to New Zealand to take a job in Queenstown. In 2006 Louisa went on a gap year trip around the world that started in New Zealand. Not long after the trip begun, it ended after she decided to stay to be with the man she loved.

I couldn’t wait to speak to Louisa and Eliot about what makes a successful relationship and see what love means to them.

Louisa arrived in New Zealand with a 1-year tourist visa and the intention of staying for six months working, travelling and having fun. A mutual friend advised her of a housing situation that would suit her needs and so she moved in. In that house, in room 13 was Eliot, Louisa recalls “we lived together straight away and have never lived apart since”.

They became engaged four years after dating, whilst on a trip back to England. They had traveled there to attend Louisa’s childhood friend’s wedding. Louisa said “my friend had caught the bouquet at a wedding that she had been to and was the next person to get married. It turned out that for the three weddings before that; those who had caught the bouquet had gotten married next”. A chain of luck had formed and it was Louisa who caught this bouquet at this wedding. It hit the ceiling and bounced on the floor right in front of her. Eliot and Louisa then went on a trip to Bath the next week, where Eliot proposed.

Emmaleen: Can you share a loving story from your relationship?

Louisa: “Eliot has such a quality to him, he puts me and the kids before him always; he goes without for me. There have been times over the years when I wanted to go back home to the U.K. to visit friends and family and he has understood and supported me, even if that means he had to go without.” Knowing that he was different was how she knew that she could spend the rest of her life with him.

Eliot: “We simply got along. It was comfortable, effortless”.

What is the key to a happy relationship?

Louisa: “Communication is key. There have been times where I have held stuff in, and it hasn’t worked. We need to talk and communicate. I know that now, and it works really well. Living together before we were married was important to me as I had the chance to see that it was right. We are really at ease with one another, and we have the same goals and interests. We both love to travel, and that is important to us both. I’m not sure how it can work if you both don’t have the same interests or respect for each others’ interests. Trust is so important. I could put Eliot into the middle of a lap dancing club, and I know that he wouldn’t do anything. I completely trust him. I have been in previous relationships where that hasn’t been the case, and it can be pretty toxic.”

Eliot: “Getting along is important, if you’re going to spend the rest of your life together you need to be able to argue and move on. Living harmoniously is important. It’s our opposites that make us work. Opposite strengths that complete one another. When together as a couple we strengthen each other”

Louisa: “We need each other to help fill in the gaps.”

What is Love?

Louisa: “Love is communication, trust, and passion.”

Eliot: “Affection, connection, and caring”.

What is your advice to anyone looking for love?

Louisa: “TIME. Don’t rush it, as the people that do are usually the ones that end up divorced.”

Eliot: “You don’t find a goldfish in the sewer. Finding common ground with someone is half the battle. Really getting to know who you are marrying is so essential; it’s one person for the rest of your life.”

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