What is love? Sharon and Danny

"Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a commitment"

Danny and Sharon

Sharon and Danny live in Southbury, Connecticut. They have three grown-up daughters who are their world. They love to spend time together, traveling and weekends and summers at their Lakehouse. They have been together for forty-two years since they were fifteen years old. They will be celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary next year.

I couldn’t wait to speak to Sharon and Danny about what makes a successful relationship and see what love means to them.

Sharon grew up in Bethlehem, Connecticut and Danny grew up in Wolcott, Connecticut; which is where they met. It was April 1976; Peterson Park was the place to be for the local teenagers. Danny was there when he saw his friend Al pull up in his car, there alongside him were two beautiful girls; identical twins. Danny saw that one didn’t look attached and thought, “here is a pretty girl.” He told them about a house party that night, and they all decided to ride there together. Al had a two-seater car, and so Sharon had to get out of the car and pull her seat forward so that Danny could get in into the back. Danny recalls “she then pushed the seat back and got in the front, leaving me in the back alone, so I thought, oh forget it and when we got to the party I disappeared.” After the party, Sharon was standing outside by herself. Sharon explains, “I was from a different town, and I didn’t know anyone.” So they got talking, and Danny and his friend Al drove the girls home. Danny mentioned that he had a 1969 Camero; Sharon had a soft spot for cars and so her ears pricked up. Danny said, “I walked away with a kiss that night, because of that car; she never actually ended up seeing it as not long after that it blew up.” And so, they exchanged numbers and starting dating. They would go to the movies; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest was out at the time. They dated all through high school. They went through a stage where they stopped dating for six months but they soon reconnected, and in December 1980 they became engaged.

In June 1980 Sharon moved to Tulsa so that she could live with Danny while he studied at flight school. While there, Danny started attending a Baptist church, he came home one day and said that he wanted to be baptized. Sharon grew up Catholic and after seeing his new found enthusiasm wanted to go with him to his church. Once there, Sharon said “one of the youth pastors put a guilt trip on us for living together out of wedlock,” and so she spoke to Danny about it. His reply was “Sharon we are together, we will be together for the rest of our lives, let’s just get married” And so, in early December they became engaged, and on 27th December 1980, they got married. The wedding took place back in Sharon’s hometown in Connecticut. It was very quickly arranged, Danny wasn’t Catholic so they couldn’t marry in Sharon’s church, instead, they married with a Justice of the Peace in a church hall and had their reception after that. Sharon said, “we didn’t spend much, I was going to wear a suit, but at the last minute my cousin’s wife said I could borrow her dress and so I did.” They were twenty and twenty-one years old.

Danny said, “Sharon is really beautiful, she always has been, we were both mature beyond our years. We had so much in common and loved being with each other. We can still both say that the person I want to be with is her. She is not just my lover, my wife, I like hanging out with her. She is my best friend.”

Sharon added, “He was cute. Hardworking, funny. We just got along.”

Emmaleen: Can you share a loving story from your relationship?

Danny: “I wanted babies bad. Sharon said that we wouldn’t have children while we were still living in an apartment and that we would have to wait until we had a house. Sharon was out of town in Connecticut, and I thought if that’s what it takes to have babies, I’ll buy a house and so I did. She came back, and I gave her the keys to our house. Luckily she liked it.”

What is the key to a happy relationship?

Sharon: “Being friends, remaining friends, and talking through difficult times."

Danny: “Being Christian and godly and having a loving foundation in the relationship. We decided that we wanted to live a Christian life, and being married is part of that. Having that foundational and something you believe in is essential. Also being selfless, many people are selfish. Lots of people say ‘I would do anything for her’ but sometimes its empty words. But when you really live in a selfless way, then that’s the key.”

What is Love?

Danny: “Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a commitment.”

Sharon: “Friendship, intimacy, and happiness.”

So what is their advice to anyone looking for love?

Danny: “Too many people look in the wrong places. You should look for someone you can have a relationship with, instead of just looking at the cover. You need a friend, someone you can go shopping with, hang out with. Stay away from the superficial.”

Sharon: “Some people jump into a relationship because they have to be in a relationship which is the wrong reason, and because of that, it won’t work.”

Danny: “You have to want commitment. If it’s all about you, then it’s not going to work.”

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